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As I sit here staring at my screen, every single emotion I felt not too long ago comes flooding back. With excitement, my husband and I went to our 8 week ultrasound appointment. Nervous (first baby), and just so giddy walking into the office. We didn’t realize in less than an hour I would be in tears, a zombie, and that my husband would have to be the rock that kept me standing up straight.
As a healthy, relatively young person, I never thought I would hear the doctor say she cannot find a heartbeat. The moment she kept asking me questions, I knew something was wrong – more so my husband knew something was wrong. Every ounce of excitement left my body, and I went numb. At that moment my doctor said, “things happen, at least you got pregnant, it is more than likely chromosomal.” All I could hear was, “I am sorry to say but it seems as if you had a miscarriage.” My husband being the logical one asked all the right questions and told me all the right logical things. However, at that time I wanted to punch him, scream, and just run.
The Miscarriage wasn’t the end of the world…
I didn’t realize it wasn’t the end of the world till a few days later after the initial appointment. Unfortunately, I had to tell my parents and the very few friends that had known I was pregnant. The amount of individuals that had said, “oh I had one too, it happens, it’s nothing you did” made the miscarriage feel a little more normal. Sadly, “normal” wasn’t cutting it for me.
As my world felt like it was crashing and my sadness turned into anger, I knew I needed to figure out how I could get through this mentally.
Here are the top 5 tips that helped me get through my miscarriage:
- Join a Facebook group (or support group) with others going through the same thing. If you want to join the one I joined here is the link: Join Pregnancy Loss Sisters!
- Talk to someone! I love therapy in general (I work in a high stress industry), she has been my saving grace. Helping me get through the hard humps and truly grieving.
- Educate yourself. You are your own advocate, look into nutrition and exercising, etc. For me I needed to learn more about Miscarriage in general and I did just that.
- Be honest with your partner. I was so angry when my husband would brush off my feelings, but I also didn’t realize he is grieving in his own way too. Be honest, tell your partner how you’re feeling and cope together.
- Take a minute. Truly take some time for yourself. I tried to put my head into my work and did not take a second to breath or do anything for myself. I ended up getting a tattoo in honor of the loss and making more time for myself (see the goodies I used below).
Each of us grieve in our own ways. I hope these tips will help you during your pregnancy loss journey. Please leave your tips that helped you in the comments below!
Lots of Love,
Living Extroverted
Extra Goodies!
Here are a few things that helped keep me feeling top notch during this process too:
