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As I sit here staring at my screen, every single emotion I felt not too long ago comes flooding back. With excitement, my husband and I went to our 8 week ultrasound appointment. Nervous (first baby), and just so giddy walking into the office. We didn’t realize in less than an hour I would be in tears, a zombie, and that my husband would have to be the rock that kept me standing up straight.
As a healthy, relatively young person, I never thought I would hear the doctor say she cannot find a heartbeat. The moment she kept asking me questions, I knew something was wrong – more so my husband knew something was wrong. Every ounce of excitement left my body, and I went numb. At that moment my doctor said, “things happen, at least you got pregnant, it is more than likely chromosomal.” All I could hear was, “I am sorry to say but it seems as if you had a miscarriage.” My husband being the logical one asked all the right questions and told me all the right logical things. However, at that time I wanted to punch him, scream, and just run.
The Miscarriage wasn’t the end of the world…
I didn’t realize it wasn’t the end of the world till a few days later after the initial appointment. Unfortunately, I had to tell my parents and the very few friends that had known I was pregnant. The amount of individuals that had said, “oh I had one too, it happens, it’s nothing you did” made the miscarriage feel a little more normal. Sadly, “normal” wasn’t cutting it for me.
As my world felt like it was crashing and my sadness turned into anger, I knew I needed to figure out how I could get through this mentally.
Here are the top 5 tips that helped me get through my miscarriage:
- Join a Facebook group (or support group) with others going through the same thing. If you want to join the one I joined here is the link: Join Pregnancy Loss Sisters!
- Talk to someone! I love therapy in general (I work in a high stress industry), she has been my saving grace. Helping me get through the hard humps and truly grieving.
- Educate yourself. You are your own advocate, look into nutrition and exercising, etc. For me I needed to learn more about Miscarriage in general and I did just that.
- Be honest with your partner. I was so angry when my husband would brush off my feelings, but I also didn’t realize he is grieving in his own way too. Be honest, tell your partner how you’re feeling and cope together.
- Take a minute. Truly take some time for yourself. I tried to put my head into my work and did not take a second to breath or do anything for myself. I ended up getting a tattoo in honor of the loss and making more time for myself (see the goodies I used below).
Each of us grieve in our own ways. I hope these tips will help you during your pregnancy loss journey. Please leave your tips that helped you in the comments below!
Lots of Love,
Here are a few things that helped keep me feeling top notch during this process too: